Hey darling, I saw you on the street the other day. It was as if a small gust of wind made me look, or like flipping a page in a book, that sound, that soft, nostalgic, movement it creates.
You seemed different, yet nothing feels to have changed…
And the other day, I think we dreamt of each other at the same time, it was an intense night where I felt like I was trying to swim through endless moments with you. But I don’t like water, so I got out.
I breathed at the surface and I opened my eyes to see the world in front of me. Majestic. The tiny cold drops of water keep on sliding down my cheeks and neck. I just look around me, and awoken from that dream that kept on dragging me to the past, to the wrong me and the wrong you, to the pain and hurt, and scars, I feel free. I chose me.
I chose the world in front of me, to do more and cherish it, to discover it, to taste every bit I can of it, in any way. Without you. Yes, it’s different, but it’s still the world. And for me, it’s my oyster.
I have been through those dreams, when I woke up crying, I have been through that pain, where my heart kept asking me questions, knocking on my chest as if a magic door would open and have all the answers, and immediately start healing.
I have been through what it feels to not feel “home”. I have felt the earth crumble under my feet. But all that hurt, that necessary suffering, ignited within me a fire.
And it’s unstoppable.
I am getting out of the water now, stepping firmly on the ground, head up high, and I’m not anymore that little girl who thought someone else was teaching her love, who thought she has too many flaws. No. I am awaken, and for the first time, in a very long time, I am in love with my life. And everything is inspiring.