I don’t even know how to begin this post.
I am excited. Happy. Nervous. Even surprised, don’t know how to describe it. I’ve started writing this in the metro and I feel I am starting out on a new journey and I’ve got …tingles. I think.
I am going to tell you the story and my feelings exactly as they are because I hope maybe it will trigger something for you too. A road ahead full of adventures that might scare you but amaze you.
I started the job I quit now more than 2 years ago. I knew from the first day that I didn’t want to work there. I knew anyways from my previous jobs that I am not cut out for this. Corporations, people at their cubicles, people working their a***s off for their boss somewhere in a far away country. Being confined in that 8 hours in a building, meetings, rules. But I stayed because to be honest, I had to earn some money and sustain myself. I was stuck in meetings and calls, but I didn’t hear what they were saying. I was dreaming. Always. I was thinking about fashion, materials, patterns, street style, Milan Fashion Week designers. I used to sit in this meeting room surrounded by my colleagues, a simple, grey room, and think “oh dear, there is so much out there.What if I leave it all, pick a city and just go? What if I could make it in fashion? What if I don’t have to stay here anymore…”
What if I pack my things and go live on a remote island?
I was working on my blog in the free time I had. At first my photos were terrible, took them with my poor quality phone.I didn’t know a thing about programs or other apps or other ways to make beautiful imagery. But I kept at it,as I could. I kept on writing and trying to do something for my dream whenever I could. But that’s not enough, I know that now.
Then, each morning as I was going to the office, I felt sad. I didn’t care that I could sustain myself from my salary. I didn’t care about money, about anything. I felt useless, I felt I wasn’t doing something for myself and that I’m too young to stay there and be confined. And most importantly, I felt that if I wake up in the morning hating the fact that I have to go there, it’s pointless. I wanted and I still want to wake up and say yes I am doing this today and feel happy of what I am creating.
So I must say I am excited to start something new, I finally gave myself the freedom to invest my time in what I love doing. I also took on a new challenge, that of talking in front of a camera and I opened up my Youtube channel. I was so shy and afraid to talk in front of a camera that when I filmed an intro for one of my videos, I thought I couldn’t do it, that I’m afraid to. But I think being able to put yourself out there, and just taking the risk will help you a lot in the future.
I don’t know how to do this digital nomad thing, how people call it nowadays, or how I am going to travel and work remotely, or how I am going to build my fashion dream. But I am going to keep at it and putting in the effort, and then maybe it will all be worth it.
If you have a dream, chase it. So that the guilt that you didn’t won’t chase you. 🙂
Go for it, even if it scares you so much. It is a challenge and you’ll discover so many things about you that you will be amazed.
Next up: Confessions of packing my life for the next year in my Travel section.
Also, don’t forget to please vote for me to go to India! Link is here.