Blue spring, maybes,whatifs.

Saw you on his arms. I couldn’t believe I could ever see with someone other than me. I could never believe I would see you smiling for someone other than me.

I know, I’m selfish. I was a fool, such a fool. But this is not the time to be. I need to see you one last time, try it out. Then see if life agrees with me. If not, I’ll still be here, waiting for you. Even if my bed will be filled with some other girl, even if my mornings will not be smelling of you, even if my days would be quiet without you.

It’s spring and I’m dressed for new beginnings. It’s sunny, it warms my skin and cheeks. I walk around this kind of New York streets, old Bucharest. I pass by our favorite ice cream and I can’t help but have this flashing image in my mind. As we played, as you kissed me, it all seems not too far.

But in life you gotta do what’s best for you. And those who lied to you can’t be believed again. I shake my head, I close my eyes. Open them again.

I miss your skin, I feel too weird without your eyes staring at me, as if always questioning everything. The entire existence.

But someone takes me by the arm. I smile.

Blue feelings, blue spring, smiles, mistakes, maybes, whatifs.

Love,

O.

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